Cowden Saturday 2008: A tale of two halves 
For those born to Stroll, those who become Strollers, and those who have Strolling thrust upon them, the annual pilgrimage to the theatre of cricketing dreams needs no introduction.
Taking the well trodden path to Cowden, a Stroller truly feels that he is standing on the shoulders of giants. He hears the whispers of great warriors of past skirmishes (D Cross, G Winter), he sees the light of excitement in the eyes of new recruits, he hears the much-exaggerated tales of previous triumphs, controversies and disasters, he passes the smouldering effigies of Paddy, he comes to feel he knows the stats of all present, and he tastes afresh the heady cocktail of exuberance and over-excitement, laced with the arsenic of self doubt. The Cowden double header is a rite of passage, a test of character, an odyssey, a crusade against inner demons (Rick's temperament) and outer foes (Len, the bear with a sore paw, and a cast of ever more talented ringers)..Sheep are separated from goats, men from boys, and Strollers from non-Strollers.
2008 was no exception. The weekend was - as ever - oversubscribed in a rush of late Spring enthusiasm. As ever, 16 fell to 10 within hours of the start of Saturday's clash against the Fountain. But the ten were unperturbed, and the warm up as excessively jaunty and amateurish as ever. T Fletcher won the toss once again, and opted to use the swirling and overcast conditions to the advantage of the strike bowlers and Rick. A compact and at times menacing display from A Carey, J Roscoe (a man with Strollers ghosts to exorcise) and Rick ensured that the Fountain were never able to settle. Catches were held, including peaches by Luke and (running backwards) Alex, and confidence grew. Even Doug eventually got over his sulk at having been passed over as gloveman despite his persistent pre-match lobbying. But he kept a wary and envious eye on Youngy throughout. Alex Finloe capped a fluent Strollers fielding display with three wickets in an over to deny T Fletcher his usual shot at the tail. So it was a relaxed and confident Strollers outfit that left the field for an early tea, the dejected Fountain dismissed for under 100, the lowest total in the history of their clashes with the Strollers.
Few anticipated that this total would take long to knock off. Strollers contemplated an early start in Jumping Jacks, Andy Gregory (on his debut, a gritty Northerner with Brace-like batting qualities) bludgeoned the first two balls for four. Andy Carey changed into his civvies, and discussion turned to whether to suggest a gimmick 15/15 game once the job had been done. Even those veterans of Strollers collapses (St John's 2005) kicked off their shoes and started considering their nominations for Player's Player and how best to get a rise.
Within 45 minutes, the Strollers broke for tea at 23/7. The list of shame included all the top order. Youngy's dismissal was branded the worst shot he had ever seen by one neutral onlooker. Time and time again, Strollers strode out confidently. Time and time again, they returned within an over. Comedy, farce and tragedy. Luke (23), ably assisted by a dogged rearguard effort from Rick at No 10, scratched around to reduce the humiliation. But we were all out for 55, with the evening still young. The Fountain were ecstatic, some even suggesting that Paddy could now return for the 2009 fixture, having served his penance.
With commendable resilience, the Strollers took full advantage of the extra time granted for a steak supper (dominated as ever by the debate over player ratings) and Jumping Jacks (despite Jonny Allen's shameful decision to sabotage the evening by blocking the team's free entry on spurious grounds). Youngy acquitted himself well as kitty master, while Luke worked hard at outreach and recruitment - he would doubtless say in his defence that it is about the quantity of the runs you make, rather than the quality. Andy tried to kill the captain by turning his back when facing the responsibility of only catcher for a stage dive. The bouncers were very poor - not a single eviction, despite provocation.
Player ratings
Andy Gregory: solid debut. Opening fours were the high water mark of the Strollers innings. But humiliated by farcical run out, and showed lack of agility at Jumping Jacks. 6/10
Andy Morris: expectations high following his gap year. But dismissed early to a stunning catch (which caused broken rib). Long way to go to re-establish regular place in side. Sledging was close to line at times, confirming too much time down under. Shunned first strike, exposing lack of confidence. Follically Warne-esque. 4/10
Tom Fletcher: settled the team well, and was widely applauded for captaincy during first half of the game. But was powerless to prevent the slide to disaster as player after player (including himself) threw their wickets away. Demands of managing the frail egos and fragile temperaments took toll, and he put in arguably his worst ever fielding display. Overall, an under par. 3/10 (with 3 for leadership and 0 for cricket). Vaughan (c 2008) -esque. Much to prove on the Sunday.
Simon Young: displayed his surprising agility for the first ever Strollers stumping (stunning Doug and Maurice who did not realise that this was a legitimate way to take wickets). Poor sportsmanship award nomination for claiming catch off batsman's pad. Cemented place as premier gloveman, but still a long way from being a wicket keeper/batsman, despite his enthusiastic 1. Like the ancient mariner, he stoppeth one in three. 4.5/10 (with penalty - oft to be repeated - for not playing on Sunday because he was appearing for another team)
Alex Finlow: once again, stretched the limits in terms of off the field contribution, by booking and paying for rooms and (another first) the van. Also drove back to East Grinstead at 0130 to pick team up from Jacks. Bowled the best over of the season (1-0-4-3) to slice of the tail, Great catch over shoulder, showing uncharacteristic pace. But failed to take responsibility with bat. 7/10
Doug McAndrew: showed disappointing petulance on not being handed gloves. As he acknowledged, little would have been different if he hadn't turned up. But no Strollers side complete without him, and showed commendable post-match p/r. Made second ever appeal of career, but only because he was copying Youngy. One drop. Frustrated Fountain for three balls, but failed to repeat heroics with bat. 3/10
Luke Fletcher: by his own admission, bowling was bits and pieces, with most of the bits being full tosses (which was also what he was later offered in Jacks). But inspirational opening catch set tone for Strollers fielding display. Topscoring batsman, but should have done more to see Strollers move from a humiliating total towards the opposition target. Showed naive overconfidence in Rick at times, by not farming strike. Dismissed tamely. Magnetic performance in Jumping Jacks, causing him to wilfully miss bus home. 7.5/10
Andy Carey: at last, a genuine strike bowler, despite his injury. 8/0/28/3: steely, menacing and accurate. But let himself down with bat, and encouraged air of complacency with his premature kit change. Best scar in team, and consistently fine banter, 7.5/10
James Roscoe: hard to imagine the pressure he was under, having carried the Worst Ever Stroller tag with him for five years. But Gordon Brown's spin doctor knows how to face adversity, and maintained a stiff jaw and alert quiff throughout. Deserved his two wickets, despite his dubious action. Critics defied. Kept Strollers innings alive for two balls before tea, and talked confidently throughout the interval. But dismissed for a duck second ball after break.
Rick Bristowe: more enigmatic than Big Gaz, and once again wore his flaws on his sleeve. Raised expectations beyond limits of reason with ball, but was generally tidy and aggressive. First ever bouncer, but repeatedly halted run up as confidence slipped. Talked a good game with his nemesis (Len) beforehand, but was hugely relieved when Carey took his scalp at the other end. Solid batting display at close, so did not share entirely in the ignominy. But questions raised as to whether he played for his average rather than for the team. 6.5/10