Folkestone 2009 Match Report
I will arise and go now, and drive to the Shornecliffe ground,
And a neat little innings play there of flicks and nudges made:
Some singles will I run there, and push the ball around,
And jest with those who join me about duff shots they played.
And I may have success there, for balls come dropping slow,
Lobbing from the arms of grey-beards to where the seagull cries;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow
And evening full of banter about run-outs, fumbles, byes.
And we shall have some fun there, and there'll be scones for tea;
And chat of Ashes fortunes, that historic long-burned bail.
And when the game is lost and won,- plunge in the cold sea.
Then to “The Ship” for Spitfires, or a jug of Abbot Ale !
The above poem, entitled “The Folkestone Game” (adapted from W.B Yeats's “Lake Isle of Innisfree” and taken from Strollers Poet Laureate Marc Fletcher's recently published anthology of Strollers Poetry “A Breathless Hush”), neatly encapsulates the feeling of anticipation so keenly felt by any Stroller on their annual pilgrimage to Folkestone – the birthplace of the Strollers.
Banter, fun, scones, ale and plunges into the sea are a given on any Folkestone tour but so are “run outs, fumbles and byes”, and at the end of a memorable day, many Strollers will reflect on missed opportunities and “duff shots” which resulted in St.John's recording their first victory over the Strollers since 2005 – arguably the Strollers darkest hour.
Despite justifiable question marks having been raised over skipper Luke Fletcher's organisational skills, 11 Strollers were finally assembled, some arriving sweaty and lycra-clad (Paddy) on the Fletcher's doorstep and others picked up from various Folkestone train stations before many being fed sausages and cheese and transported to the ground.
Much excitement followed team news that St.John's would be fielding not 1 but 2 Strollers fathers, with Rupert (the cricketing) Bristow, being added to a St.John's teamsheet already containing Marc Fletcher, a former Minor Counties player and Strollers traitor Alex Finlow. First blood went to the Strollers as the toss was won and they elected to bat in bright sunshine. However, disaster quickly struck as Andrew Carey, (later voted to have given The Single Worst Strollers Performance in History, narrowly beating Paddy McGuirk), was bowled for 2 in the first over, having been promoted up the order. Youngy, spurred on by the video camera his girlfriend had brought, played a couple of good looking golf shots before a typical rush of blood to the head saw him being caught for 11. Worse was to follow, however, when Paddy, having again being given the chance to impress up the order, continued his disastrous start to the season by spooning a simple catch to gully to record his second duck of the season, and take his season average to just 0.666 after 3 innings.
The ship was then steadied slightly by big Pete Mason, who grasped his opportunity at number 3 with both hands to score an impressive 18 including 4 boundaries, and skipper Luke Fletcher who hit a confident 29 not out and scored a 6 to get off the mark before retiring. Debutant Nick Parkhill showed character and skill in his innings of 26 n.o and there were cameos from local boy Billy Hodges, Derek Randall-esque beneath his wide brimmed sunhat, who made a swashbuckling 13. He was arguably unlucky not to record more, having allegedly hit a 6 credited to Nick. He would be the first to say however that the scorebook rarely, if ever, lies. Tom Fletcher, mortified at having been demoted to number 8 in the batting order nurdled a stylish 6 but ultimately his enthusiasm got the better of him, and egged on by Rick from the sidelines attempted a suicidal 2 and was run out. Wild celebrations followed Tim Neale's first ever boundary and Rick's 100 th career Strollers run after 8 long seasons. However, they were dismissed for 8 and 7 respectively, Rick, not for the first time falling to his new nemesis Marc Fletcher, as banter from the sidelines was predictably intensified. John Fletcher, having ridden his luck by being bowled first ball by a no ball, capitalised by scoring a powerful 8 not out and successfully farming the strike from less senior batsman Bristow and the returning Fletcher. A 2 from the final delivery nudged the Strollers total over the psychological 150 barrier identified as the minimum 25 over target.
Strollers' lacklustre fielding and general lethargy in the field after the interval (despite, in typical Strollers style an enthusiastic fielding practice) arguably owed much to a delicious tea, lovingly prepared and served by a fine selection of Strollers WAGs. Tom Fletcher, given the opportunity to answer the critics who claim he only takes cheap lower order wickets, set about silencing his doubters by ripping through the St John's top order. His 3 early wickets, (including Alex Finlow) met with jubilant high fives, perhaps led to an element of complacency among the Strollers and did come at a cost with 16 coming off his final over. With Rick and Paddy (who took an excellent slip catch from a brute of a Tom Fletcher delivery) leaking runs at the other end, not helped by some shoddy fielding, suddenly the complexion of the game changed as Strollers realised St John's were well ahead of the required run rate. At this moment skipper Luke Fletcher turned to his go-to man Andrew Carey who proceeded to produce a baffling 2 over spell of wides, no balls, beamers and bouncers which was met by sniggers and mirth from the opposition and disbelief from his teammates. It was a dark moment for the gentle Aussie and current Player of the Year whose performances are unrecognisable from last season and a cause for deep concern.
The tide was stopped to some degree by a tight 5 over spell of seam / spin from Luke Fletcher who took 3 wickets for 16 including the scalp of his father, who nobly walked without hesitation after being controversially stumped by Simon Young. Nick Parkhill continued his outstanding debut, conceding just 9 runs from his 3.3 overs as the Strollers field moved in and became more tigerish. It was too little to late however, and even some excellent death bowling at the end of the innings from Bristow (whose wicketless maiden in the penultimate over was his greatest Strollers over) could not prevent his father Rupert capably steering St.John's home with 3 balls to spare with 3 off the final over.
Player Ratings (in batting order)
Simon Young 3.5/10 – Started confidently in front of watching fan club, before criminally getting out to typically ugly heave (for 11) when set. Conceded 10 byes, and despite first Strollers stumping has yet to make the Strollers gloves his own. Seems to have been affected by Player's Player curse - quick exit after pub and non-appearance at recent Strollers socials have not gone un-noticed.
Andrew Carey 1/10 – Turned up (hence point), but this is probably the best thing to be said about what was later voted Worst Strollers Perfomance of All Time. Looks a shadow of his former self with the ball, struggling for any kind of control and was dismissed cheaply (for 2) having been given the chance to open the batting. A virtual passenger in the field and to top it all failed to join other Strollers for sea swim. Needs to take a long hard look at himself in the mirror. Strollers will need to support him through these troubled times and have confidence he will bounce back stronger.
Paddy McGuirk 2/10 – Another big name player whose performances go from bad to worse. Scores of 0,3 and 0 so far this season will mean questions have to be asked whether he merits his place up the order (or indeed the team). Was expected to pose more of a threat with the ball on a helpful wicket, but finished wicketless. Took an excellent catch at slip but will be the first to admit he needs to step up to the plate more in future games. Narrowly avoided Worst Stroller ignominy by virtue of wearing nice black shirt. Lycra shorts less forgivable and cycling 100 miles on day of Strollers game is surely not ideal preparation.
Pete Mason 7/10 - Did everything that was asked of him. Steadied the ship after early batting collapse and played graceful sweeps on his way to Strollers career best 18. A gentleman on and off the pitch. Supported Nick's seapole climb attempt valiantly though suggestions he needs swimming trunk rethink.
Luke Fletcher 6.5/10 – Loses points for poor organisation, having his car stolen from under his nose by Tom, Paddy and Nick and failing to complete match report in the working week following the match. Continued good start to season, leading by example with 29 not out, scored quickly, and 3 wickets. Question marks remain however about indecisive captaincy and tendency to rise like Hollers in post-game player rating chats.
Nick Parkhill 9/10 Man of the Match - Came to the party with both bat and ball where more senior Strollers had failed before him. Made steady progress on his way to retiring on 26 not out and bowled tightly towards the end of the innings, being unlucky to finish wicketless. Narrowly failed to scale sea pole despite exceptional effort and cut feet. A great Strollers debut.
Billy Hodges 8/ -10 – Resembled Derek Randall in old school shirt and floppy sun hat and fielded like him too. One of the few Strollers who can hold his head high after the game, with cavalier 13 and diving stops in field. Let himself down by failure to go in the sea, but good performance from local boy.
Tim Neale 6/10 – A good team player, his enthusiasm is infectious and celebrations after hitting his first Strollers boundary was one of the game's magic moments. Fielding at times alikened to Mr Bean, an area to work on. One of the first Strollers into the sea and last out. One of cricket's good guys.
Tom Fletcher 6/10 – Went some way to putting theory he only takes cheap tail end wickets to bed with 3 top order wickets in a fiery opening spell. Tired in his final couple of overs, showing lack of stamina and conceding valuable runs though captain should take some of the blame for keeping him on. Kamikaze running trying to push scoreboard along resulted in yet another run out. The Fletcher brothers shared all the 6 St.John's wickets to fall.
Rick Bristow 7/10 – Hogged the strike in an innings of 7 which saw him hit the highest shot of the game (for a single) and finally reach his 100 th Stroller run, appreciated by knowledgeable Strollers statisticians everywhere. Bowled well at death, having been expensive in opening spell, but lack of wickets still a worry as are dropped catches (particularly when father batting). Admitted manipulating player ratings chat to secure a favourable mark he would take and run.
John Fletcher 8/10 – Swashbuckling 8 not out with the bat, and manipulated strike well by protecting Rick at the other end. Flawless fielding display preventing valuable runs. Good DJing and dancing as the night wore on.
Special mention to Strollers wives and girlfriends for their superb support, tolerance of endless, inane cricketing banter, exceptional tea making performances, camerawork and for braving the icy sea in slightly more tasteful swimwear than the Strollers. 10/10
Huge thanks as well to Debbie Fletcher and Marc Fletcher for their hospitality before and after the game, and the new Strollers Poetry Anthology presented to Strollers by Marc, worthy of a Booker Prize nomination.