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IF you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too…..

…..which is more you'll be a man my son.

Those famous words written by Rudyard Kipling almost a century ago could not be more aptly applied than to the heroics of one Doug McAndrew on Monday night.

When his time came, Macca, recently usurped as Premier Strollers Weasel by Tom Allen, set about carving out a new niche for himself within the club – that of Premier Strollers Middle Order Batsman by compiling an innings that would later be described as no less than his finest hour. Not his finest Strolling hour, or even his finest sporting hour, but his finest hour period.

McAndrew's great moment will be revisited later but first, we must recount the events leading up to a knock that had the Stroller Cognoscenti nodding sagely at what will surely go down as one of the top 5 greatest Stroller Innings.

Weeknight cricket has often been viewed by some as the epitome of all that is wrong with the modern game. It is believed that a game after work in the fading light and the mad rush to get to the ground on time can often affect performance and motivation levels. It would certainly apply to a number of players featuring in Monday's game.

Nevertheless the Strollers cobbled together 11 players despite match day captain Paddy McGuirk becoming the second senior member of the team this season to put his working career first, pulling out on the morning of the game and trying to offload the captaincy onto the youthful shoulders of first Youngy, then Carey before finally getting a reluctant Tom Fletcher to take up the reins.

8 previously capped strollers and 3 debutants arrived at the ground resplendent in their creams with a select few wearing their newly acquired hand cut/hand stitched traditional Stroller caps. To the casual observer they looked every bit the slick professional outfit they purported to be on www.strollerscricket.co.uk and compared to the eclectic bunch of beer drinking, coloured-short wearing opposition, some shod only in sandals and others who couldn't afford any shoes at all, the Strollers could almost be forgiven for their jocular banter and relaxed build up to this match. It was an error that was to nearly cost dearly.

Opening up with Strollers debutants Aussie Ash and Alex Dawson the Strollers were very quickly down a man as umpire Big Gaz failed to call a no-ball despite it bouncing at least twice before rolling into Ash's stumps. Like a model Stroller he remained stoic despite the desperate hurt he was feeling on the inside.

Tom Fletcher sauntered out to the middle with the setting sun reflecting off those very white teeth of his and he and Alex began to find the gaps, moving the score along at a brisk rate before Fletcher was bowled by one of the Bare footed Bowling Brigade for only 11…or as he thought 16.

That brought Carey to the crease. Spectators around the ground asked themselves how good a bowler wearing no shoes could possibly be. Too good for Carey as it turned out and he embarrassed himself, his family and his unborn children by getting bowled second ball and in the process recording his first Strollers duck.

Youngy, who would later show that he is not quite as agile as first thought, came and went just as quickly, continuing a worrying trend for him that is, padding away the first few balls, making a run or two and then departing quickly, his legacy in this match being nothing more than a shambolic innings bereft of all sophistication.

The much vaunted Strollers top order was all but gone and Pete Mason was trusted to provide support to the now rampaging Dawson and for 3 full balls it looked as though he might be the saviour but no, he also went cheaply for 4.

At 5/40 things looked dire but the Strollers were in for a treat as McAndrew polished his halo and strode the crease. Never having reached double figures at any time in his long and relatively non-descript batting career, Macca underlined his class early on with 2 Chinese cuts that went for 4 and as he grew in confidence so did his shot play. He retired with a masterful 30 not out with the Strollers back in command of the game.

He wasn't alone however being ably assisted by Tim Neale who's spidery fingers looked more suited to playing a piano than wielding willow but who still managed to score a gallant 7. Big Gaz, another hero, ambled to the crease and in an innings of surprising daintiness, dinked and dabbled his way to 23 no. Together with the retiring Alex contributing a bold 32no they set the Strollers up for a competitive total of 8/132 when earlier all looked lost.

The Strollers took to the field with renewed vigour and with Ash Barker and Tom Fletcher opening the bowling they were quickly among the wickets with Fletcher taking an outstanding caught and bowled.

Catches were the order of the day as Barker took his first Strollers wicket and Carey, reverting to leg spin had Big Gaz to thank for his one wicket and only contribution for the match. Sumner, a debutant took a splendid catch and followed it up with a wicket after throwing himself around in the field all evening and injuring his ankle in the process.

Matt Wallbridge, denied the chance to show his batting prowess was thrown the ball at first change and despite initially struggling to get his line and length right, conquered his demons mid over and took two wickets in two balls. With ten men around the bat, the hat trick never materialized but it was nonetheless a fine display of character in the face of adversity.

With wickets tumbling the skipper gave an over or two to Youngy allowing him the privilege of his first wicket for the club and even countenanced an over of deplorable pace bowling from the late arriving McGuirk. His unique action seeing him heckled by the crowd.

The end result saw the Strollers win comfortably and reportedly relieved at getting back to winning ways.

Player Ratings:

Alex: The Strollers debutant brought gravitas to the top order where recently the Strollers had known only the nervous indecision of Rick. Advice in the field showed inklings of a shrewd tactical mind and his belligerent 32no with the bat capped a fine display. Let himself down by claiming a grassed catch and duly docked a point for unsportsmanlike behaviour. Had half a point reinstated for owning up to his sin in the pub. 6.5/10.

Ash: Cruelly bowled off a no-ball for 1 on debut but held his head high opening the bowling and being regarded as the pick of the bowlers being unlucky to get only 1 wicket . Indicated he was more than just a cricketer by donning a golf visor that made him the envy of all players present. 1 run and 1 wicket. 7/10

Tom Fletcher: Tarnished his fine captain's display of 3 wickets and 3 catches by disputing the scorebook (which never lies) claiming 16 runs when in actual fact he had made just 11. Obviously still smarting over his own missed hat trick, he let himself down further by quietly clenching his fist and mouthing a slow “yes” when Wallbridge missed his chance at a hat trick thereby earning himself a nomination for the award for unsportsmanlike behaviour. 6/10

Carey: International disgrace with worst ever Strollers performance. Bowled for a duck by a barefooted man. Had the opportunity to captain but the weight of history was too much for him to grasp the opportunity. Needs to improve leadership skills and may be dropped to allow him to Captain the Strollers second XI and develop these important skills. Displayed good IT nous with first ever typed Strollers batting order. Solid project management skills prior to the match. 0 and 1-9 with the ball. 3/10.

McGuirk: Prancing fast-bowling action more suited to dressage than the rigours of park cricket. Showed both poor time management skills and then poor leadership by first pulling out of the game only to arrive an hour late and then attempting to assert himself in a pseudo-captaincy role but succeeding only in creating disharmony and confusion within the ranks. Hailed however for turning up in tight hot-pants, a move regarded as a none-too-subtle attempt at trying to cash in on the pink pound and securing future merchandising opportunities for Strollers Cricket. Questions have to be asked as to his future role at the club with him potentially being forced into a more commercial role generating new revenue streams for the Strollers rather than a playing role. 1/10

Youngy: A parody of a joke in many respects. Gave up the gloves to Macca to focus on his batting yet contributed nothing and ended up making a thorough nuisance of himself in the field. For his own sake and for the welfare of the team as a whole, his captain had to move him time and time again in a bid to hide him from the ball but still it found him and when it did, he duly allowed it to run past him to the boundary. Made up for it in part with his bowling, taking a wicket due mostly to his naïve overconfidence in his own ability. In his suit jacket he cut a figure of sartorial elegance as square leg umpire and the dapper gent received more than his fair share of long, lustful looks from the female scorer. 2 runs and 1 wicket. 3/10

Macca: His will be forever remembered as the greatest performance by a non-player. Rounded out a sublime a 30 not out with the bat by re-taking the club record for number of byes conceded and recording his first audible LBW appeal. Remained as modest as ever with the line “I can't bat…but I can run”. Earned a Mark Fletcher* nomination for trying to encourage the fast bowlers to aim at the toes of those opposing batsman in sandals. Man of the Match 9/10.

Tim Neale: Raised morale by celebrating his first boundary in 2 decades like he had scored a 50. Lowered morale when the team realised he was only on 7 and a long way short of a match saving 50. His reenacted batting strokes were vastly superior to his real batting strokes and had coaches wondering how to reverse the two. Pointed his finger a lot in the field, albeit for no apparent reason. Nevertheless his fielding was excellent with one catch and will be appointed as Youngy's fielding mentor for the foreseeable future.7/10

Pete Mason: Banter was first class and he backed it up with a catch under great pressure from a skied ball. Put his body on the line, in the field, headbutting the ball at one point in the match with his physically large cranium believed to be the reason behind excess wear being noticed on the ball. Swept a nice 4 to the fence and would be disappointed not to cash in on some ordinary opposition bowling. 4 runs. 6/10.

Matt Wallbridge: A day of triumph over adversity for this young man. A new term of “environmental bowling” was coined for his first over given his first couple of deliveries pitched on the green grass off the pitch and were more likely to trouble the square leg umpire than the batsman on strike. He didn't panic though. Instead he fine tuned his technique and ripped through two batmen in two balls laying his demons to rest. Unlucky not to get a hattrick and he has now been appointed full time mentor to Rick in a bid to get the man mentally in the right frame of mind. Lost points for 2 dropped catches but 2 for 20 with the ball earned him 6/10

Big Gaz: Volunteered as first umpire and looked more like a pub bouncer than an umpire with his jacket and shades but didn't let this spectre of menace stop him from allowing “no balls” to dismiss Strollers. With the bat he reveled under pressure and his 23 no. included an exquisite cover drive. He earned extra points for shunning a pristine protector choosing instead to take in the full strength aroma and hairy texture of a second hand box. 8.5/10

Mark Sumner: His debut for the Strollers saw an excitable Sumner diving around during catching practice and repeating the exercise in the field taking a catch and getting a wicket. A solid initial score was unfortunately marked down for the following common misdemeanors: Lobbying for a higher score, using frequent bad language during post match player ratings and rising more than any Stroller debutant before him. 3/10

Andrew Carey